Day 14 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua - Wonderful Sunday!

Today was a very wonderful day! I absolutely LOVE Sundays! I went to church. Sacrament meeting was awesome. We had a talk given by an elderly gent about pioneers. It kind of brought tears to my eyes. I want to Meemas after church today. It was fun, I had lunch over there. Pork(I think), mashed potatoes with gravy, and corn. It was yummy. After lunch I just visited with her and the rest of the family. I asked for some recipes and she brought out all her recipe books. I love acquiring new recipes. She handed my great grandma Stowells recipe book! The paper was so old it was brown and was so fragile. I enjoyed going thru it and looking at the recipes she had. We reminisced about my great grandparents and the different things they did. Meema has their missionary pass along cards with their (great grandparents) names and info on them. I asked her for one. It made me cry. I miss them so much. I was very blessed to have been able to get to know them here on earth. They are a big example to me. Meema said I could take her recipe book and copy them. I told her I want dibs on them, and to write in her will that I get the recipe books. :)
I went to joyces, Caleb and the kids were there. I played in the rain with the kids and visited with Caleb some. It was alright. I missed the kids a lot. They ran up and gave me hugs and kisses. It was great! I got some pics with them. I will upload them tomorrow. :)

Pictures

sourdough cinnamon rolls. Not too fluffy. Oh well. 

Pictures of me and Aunt Tracy from when we went to the Tucson Mall on Thursday. :) 

Random Pic of me. 

This is what the cabinet in my bathroom now looks like. All my smellies are in there, new and old! Makes me so happy!

Day 13 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

I didn't do anything today. They canceled work today, not enough clients wanted to go. I cleaned my bathroom a little bit, well rearranged the cabinets. I moved things around so that I could put all my perfumes, lotions and hand soaps in there. I am happy to be able to put my things somewhere and not worry about them being used. I also made sourdough cinnamon rolls. They came out okay. I will tweak the recipe to my liking. I have never used sourdough starter for anything nor have I made any sourdough bread. You learn from your mistakes.
I won't even begin to tell you what I ate. Just know none of it was healthy. I liked not working but at the same I didn't. I did absolutely nothing but be lazy and grub out.
I did go to the movies and see Harry Potter with my parents. I cried like a baby during the entire thing. It was just so sad. Even though I knew everything was going to happen, I read the books, I was still sad. :( I did enjoy the movie though. I thought it was great.
I went to the Pioneer Celebration with my Aunt Tracy and Brady. We chatted it up. I love going places with her. I can always vent to her.
I got another letter from Elder Anthony M. Franklin aka Tony. :) I love getting his letters! I find them so romantic even if they are just friend letters. I find all letters to be romantic. Someone taking the time out of their live to send you a hand written letter. :) Its wonderful. I do find myself falling for him or at least the idea of him. We liked each other in High School but never pursued one another. We just always remained friends. I love his letters. He sent me a drawing and sketch he did. I enjoyed them. :)

Day 12 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

I went shooting and riding quads with Brady and Lena today. It was her first time, we took lots of pictures. It was a lot of fun! I enjoyed it! Brady took us to Tonis for lunch. It was good though it took forever for the food to come out. I went to work then hung out with them again. We just drove around. Not a busy day. I did have a lot of fun though, I am going to miss Lena. She leaves for Utah in the morning. :(
I had an ice cream bar for breakfast haha, a sandwich for lunch and piece of cake and some noodles for dinner. Not too bad, not the best either!

Day 11 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

I had such a wonderful day today! It started out a little crappy and late! I went to work this morning, the van door broke on me! My supervisor got upset, like its my fault?! Yes, i just decided I wanted to be the incredible hulk and broke the bar to the door. By all means, put the blame on me. Oh well, can't do much about it. After work I picked my friend Paul up and took him to get the car, which is the reason I had such a late start to my most awesomest day ever!
I finally made it to Aunt Tracys around 10:45AM. I picked Lena up on the way. Karl met me over there. We took off as soon as I got there, me, Lena, Karl, Brady and Aunt Tracy. Aunt Tracy let me drive the way up so I wouldn't get car sick. Brady and her both drove on the way home. I really did have a great day! We had lunch as soon as we got there. I ate at CajunGrill. It was yummy. I ate maybe 1/3 of my food. I just don't eat as much as I use to. I bought so much perfumes and body sprays! I love smells, absolutely love them! Its a practical buy to me. I may run out of one smell, but it will never go out of style nor while I ever grow out of them. They are a perfect buy. I bought 2 pairs of shoes as well. They are so cute! One pair was 10 dollars and the other 21. Not too bad! I mean come on, 10 dollars for a pair of shoes?! It made my day. I also bought some hand soaps for my bathroom! I love that it is my bathroom and I can buy these things for it and not worry about someone using too much. I have issues. I bought some lotions for mom and I am just going to massage dads feet/back for his gift. Just to be nice. My Aunt bought me a mexican snow cone. It was delicious! I got a pecan with shaved ice and one scoop of ice cream. It was to die for! I loved it. Now every time I go there I am going to have to get one. It was that yummy! She also bought me a cinnabon, so good. I only ate half of that though, I gave the other half to Karl. Me and Lena took pictures, it was fun! She put on a shoe that was HUGE and we took a pic of her. It was fun. Me and Aunt Tracy took pics in a photo booth. They turned out so cute! I love them and her! Next time it is going to be just me and her! I loved that everyone went with us, but I kind of felt I had to make sure they were entertained the whole time. Me and Aunt Tracy get a long so well and are so much a like, we both love smells and just want to go to Dillards and smell the perfumes then have a lunch. We don't feel like we have to constantly entertain one another. I loved reminiscensing  on the way home, too, about my Great Grandparents who are now dead. Today was an amazing day!

Day 8, 9 and 10 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

I have been slacking and I know. I apologize to everyone who keeps up with this! Sunday was an overall good day. I haven't gone to the gym at all this week. :(
Monday I went to work and then to a Dr. appointment. It turns out I'm not hypoglycemic. My body just can't handle my blood sugar dropping. It could be due to the new diet. The Dr. told me to stay with the diet I am on, high protein low carbs. He said it was a good one for me especially if I don't do well in between meals. I have to eat more often though, at least 5 small meals a day. If I eat carbs they have to be complex carbs, multi grains and wheat. I need to stay away from sodas, sweets, starches of any kind and no more white bread/rice/noodles. He noticed my weight loss and asked what I was doing to lose it. I told him and he was happy for me. :) According the Dr.s office scale I have lost 13 lbs! My last weigh in for there was in March but it was also the same weight that I started dieting and exercise. I went to FHE. Lena went with. We went swimming at the EAC pool for it. I had a lot of fun! Brady showed up a little later. Haha funny story. I was getting out of the water, climbing the ladder and my chichi kind of came out. It was embarrassing! There was a ton of people there. I hope no one noticed. Its official my boobs are shrinking and its making me sad. I finally had to tighten the straps on my swimmer suit. :(  After FHE we went to Bradys and watched True Grit outside on the lawn. It was fun. I enjoyed it and so did Lena.
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I worked all day Tuesday. 6:45AM - 4:45PM, 10 hour shift. It was fine though. I went to Aunt Tracys afterwards and had dinner with her and the family. It was so yummy! Pot roast with gravy, grilled corn (frozen), and mac and cheese. It was delicious! I stayed there till about 8PM then went to meet with the bishop. It wasn't bad. A very quick visit. I got home around 10PM or so. I had to wait forever to see him!
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I worked in the AM today. I came home and just crashed! I feel asleep till about 1PM then I started getting ready for my afternoon shift. After the PM shift I went to the store and bought frozen pizza and ice cream for game night. I then went and picked up Lena then went to Karls. We had fun eating pizza and ice cream and playing games. We played mystery rook, scum and uno. I had fun. I'm just ready for bed! Tomorrow I am going to Tucson with Aunt Tracy, Karl (possibly), Lena and Brady! I cant wait. It has been forever since I left this town just for the fun of it. I kind of wish we were going to PHX then I could see Joshua, but alas we aren't. Another time for sure! Im gonna go shopping for shoes and perfumes! No sense in buying new clothes, seeing as I am still trying to lose weight. :) I really hope I did lose 13 lbs! That would be so awesome. I have to do an AM shift tomorrow then take my friend Paul to Pima (sucks!) and then get Karl (if he goes) then Lena, then off to Aunt Tracys house. Should be a fun time. My camera is dead still. Haven't found the charger which really irritates me! WTH!? Where can it be!? Lena said she would take hers. Oo its going to be so much fun!

Day 7 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

 For the Spirit of the Lord will not always strive with man. And when the Spirit ceaseth to strive with man then cometh speedy destruction, and this grieveth my soul. - 2 Nephi 26:11

Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try your best is never good enough? That no matter how hard you work you can't reach your goal? My spiritual goal is to attain my temple recommend once again, to be able to hold it in my hand and walk into the temple once more. Sadly, these past couple days I just haven't felt the Holy Ghost. I feel as though he has left me. I don't understand. Actually, I do. I am not up to par with everything. I have not kept my end of the bargain. I made covenants with the Lord, he has kept every promise he has made to me and I have not. The scripture above rings in my head, "For the Spirit of the Lord will not always strive with man.". We all know that he won't dwell in an unclean place. Though I scrub my body on the outside, I am still dirty on the inside. Maybe I shouldn't be typing this in my blog, maybe I shouldn't let anyone know how I feel. Maybe I should just keep this all to myself. But I am hoping and wishing that there is someone out there reading this and feeling the same way. As selfish as this is, so that I may know I am not the only one to ever feel this way.
I am not a lone. I know this. He will always by with me, watching me, guiding me as long as I am willing to take his hand and follow. I will reach my goal, but why oh why must I be so dumb, so carnally minded? Why can't I have the strength that I see others with? Why must I let myself be weakened by the world? I always feel at peace at church and on Sundays. Today, I just felt empty. When at other time I would have cried, today I just sat there as if someone hollowed me out.
Though I feel so depressed about my spiritual life, today was a great day. I enjoyed every minute of it. I met a new girl, named Lena. She is from Russia. I picked her up for church. After church we went to my grandmas for lunch, I had 3 tacos and 1/2 a cucumber. So yummy! Oh how I missed greasy tacos. :) We then came to my house and watched Beastly. It was such a good chick flick! I loved the soundtrack! I want it. We watched a little TV and my cousin, Brady came over to hang out with us. We went to the fireside tonight. We had a lot of fun! Lena is great. Brady went to the fireside too. Made me so happy! I love it when he goes to things with me. The 3 of us had a lot of fun. After the fireside Brady did some brodies in the truck. Lena was laughing the entire time. I felt bad, I kept squishing her. We made plans to go 4wheeling before she leaves on Saturday and to go to FHE tomorrow night. Brady said he will go with us. :)
The fireside was about perseverance, at least to me it was. This man was told at the age of 17 that he would never be able to move again, that he would never be able to use his arms or legs ever again. But because he didn't accept what the Doctors said to him and pushed himself to do the un imaginable, he was able to, first, wiggle his thumb, then move his had, then his arm and so on. He is still in a wheelchair. He has never given up. He is happily married with kids. He over came what most people would have accepted and given up in life. He just became stronger and stronger. I want to be like him. I want to be able to come out strong when all the odds are against me, I want to climb out of this whole and push open the gate that keeps me shut inside. With baby steps, like him, I know I can. I need to find my strength,  I need perseverance. I will get out and break the chains Satan has me tied down with. I will get that feeling back. My candle still has a spark left, I just need to ignite the fire and let it consume me.
I love my Aunt. I say that in almost every post, but its true. She is always here for me when I feel I have no one. She sent me the best text message ever. It made me cry. I hope she won't mind me putting it in this post. It read; "That is why we love each other. Sounding boards and perfume lovers. We do have a lot in common. Are you sure you are not my daughter? Hehe I wished upon a star for you so I at least got to marry into this family so I could have you at least part of the time". The part that overwhelms me with love is "I wished upon a star for you". I wish upon a star everyday for someone, just anyone, to be happy and know that they are loved. I never would have thought, that even before I was born someone wished for me. I was wished for. Maybe I am taking too much out of this text, maybe im just overwhelmed with emotions, but can you just imagine for one moment, being the person someone wished for? I never could, but now I can. I am loved, I was loved before I came into this world and still am. Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he put me into this family, same with my Aunt. He wasn't able to give her me as a daughter, but as a niece. She got me one way or another and I wouldn't trade my disfunctional family for anything. Though we fight and bicker we are always there for one another when times get hard. I love all my family. My mom and dad have sacrificed so much for me and continue to do so. My sisters are always there to protect me, from myself and others. I am loved. Not just here on earth but in heaven too. My father in heaven loves me just as he loves each of you. I just needed a little reminding of it.
Food; I had an ice cream, cheese stick, 1 bag of chocolate covered pretzels and 1 bag of chex mix. Plus the tacos and cucumbers mentioned earlier.

Day 6 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

I didn't go to the gym today, I did take dad though. I was just too tired to care this morning. I came home and went straight to bed. I slept for 3 more hours then my body said it was time to get up. I went to look for my camera charger, i found the cord but not the piece that I put my battery in. Why the heack would they make it where you can take the two apart?! So stupid. Now I have a dead camera and no way of charging it. Grr!
Work went well. We went to an Indian ruins place. Besh Ba Gowa, I think is what it was called. It was fun. I enjoyed it.
I went to Aunt Tracys after work. She let me smell her perfumes and gave me on that she didn't care too much for but I did. :) She is always so sweet to me. She also gave me a candle holder, I always play with it when I go over. It reminds me of something from back in the 1800's. Its not though, its a very modern day thing. I still like it. I will have to buy some little candles for it. Oh it was so fun! We went thru a magazine and smelled the perfumes in that too. I love smells and so does she. Shes a perfume girl. :) She showed me baby clothes that she kept from when the boys were babies. They were so adorable and TINY! Oh, and did you know that my Uncle Alton is so amazing!? Well he is! He can sew! He sewed my aunt 2 bikini swim suits. They were so cute! I think if i wore bikinis I would have tried jacking them from her.
Kade showed me how to play washers. Its a fun game. I have no skills for it though, haha. He whooped my butt in about 10 seconds, flat. Yeah I was terrible. It was interesting though.
I had a slim fast for breakfast. For lunch I had 2 hard boiled eggs, a bag of carrots, 1 slim fast and a bag of 100 cal chocolate covered pretzels. I didn't really eat a dinner. I did have a bag of 100 cal cracker mix, a piece of banana cake, 2 bites of toffee and some mini ritz with cheese. Yummy! Thats all I've eaten today. Wow. It actually is quite a bit.

Day 5 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

Oh my goodness! I didn't go to bed till about 10:30PM last night. It was miserable getting up this morning. Dad woke me up, I rolled out of bed, got ready and got in the car. He was outside before I was. I went to the gym. I just don't do well going to the gym at 4AM. Im not fully awake so I don't put forth all my effort. I just do it for the sake of doing it. I did 2 miles in 30 minutes. I literally had to push myself so hard just to make it in 30 minutes. I thought I was going to finish at 35. I couldn't let myself though. I just couldn't. I pushed myself, its definitely easier to go to the gym and give it my all at 9 AM. I didn't even do any weights. I just did 20 sit ups. I am disappointed in myself today. Uggh. I need more drive. I just lack energy at that time now days. What to do, what to do?
I was running late so I skipped breakfast. I had a lean cuisine for lunch with carrots and pickled cucumber slices. It was pretty good. For dinner, I asked Caleb to go to Subway and get me a sandwich. I was at work still. I had an Italian BMT, 6 inch. It was yummy. Oh and a Root Beer with dinner. Thats all I've had today. Not too many calories, just a lot of carbs.
Caleb went to walmart today so I asked him to pick me up a movie, I gave him my card. Beastly. I can't wait to watch it! It was very nice of him to do all those things for me today. We tried hanging out when I got off of work, It didn't go well. We just fought. It bothers me that he is on his phone while we are suppose to be watching movies and hanging out. I asked him to put it away and he makes a big deal about it. He says it bothers him when I am on mine, which really is a very rare occasion. I don't text anyone anymore. I don't have a lot of friends since moving back. No one to text. Anyway, I told him that he needs to speak up then. I don't know why its such a big deal to me, it just is. I get so upset and angry when someone is just texting and not paying any attention to me, especially when they are the ones that invited me over. Uggh. Stupid boys. Stupid emotions.
I did an 11 hr shift today and I am exhausted. I have been up since 4AM and its now 9:30. Its time for me to go to bed. Im just gonna be a grumpy mess tomorrow. Not sure if I will work out tomorrow or not. Soooo TIRED!
Oh wait! Awesome news! I should have taken a picture, but its a little hard when its a full body shot. I put some pants on that I always wore in HS, expecting them to not fit. They looked so teeny tiny! Well, I put them on and they fit PERFECTLY! In fact, they were a little loose on my toosh and legs. :) YAY! They honestly fit better now then when I wore them in HS. I don't weigh any less, in fact I weigh more. I must have toned up quite a bit! :) It made me so happy and think I was the hottest girl ever this AM. :)

Day 4 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

Did I ever explain why the title of this challenge is "In the Name of Joshua"? If not, then bare with me as I do. Me and Joshua were talking one day and I was telling him about how I lacked motivation, that I no longer cared to go to the gym now that I had met my 30 day challenge. I proceeded to tell him that I think I had to have something to strive for in order to me be motivated, like a goal or a challenge. He then gave me the challenge of 7.5lbs in 3 weeks instead of 4 (month). I accepted it and said it was all for him. We then bantered back and forth a bit and he said that I better do a darn good job and not soil his good name. And that he would be on me all kinds to get it done. Now you know why it is called what it is. :)
I went to the gym this morning at 4AM. Uggh. I have not missed seeing that time on the clock. I was so tired! I did not want to get out of bed! Of course, I did. I had to take dad to work. Story of my life for the next few months. So wether I want to go to the gym or not I will be going, just cause I will be there anyway. Grr! Anyway, I got off track. I did 45 minutes on the bike. 150 tricep presses, 100 inner thigh, 10 (for each leg) plee-as, 15 pull downs, 10 butterflies, 25 ab curls (normal), 10 ab curls for each side. Thats it. I had a protein shake when I got home. Then I went back to bed. That 45 on the bike today kicked my butt!!!! I seriously wasn't sure if I could complete it or not. I did though.
I had a slim fast before work. For lunch I had a lean cuisine meal, and a whole cucumber with salt. It was good. For dinner I had a small thing of pork. I came home and had a slice of zucchini bread.
Dad asked me to do the dishes when I got home. I really didn't want to, just cause they weren't dishes that i dirtied. I hate doing some one elses dirty dishes. I wash my pots and pans as I go. Needless to say, I did all the dishes.
Oh haha, funny story. While I was in the shower I heard the front door ope and close. I though "Who could be here? Dad is still at work and mom is taking care of Grandma. May be it was just my imagination." I shrugged it off and finished up my shower. I was still a little nervous though that someone might be in the house. I don't dress in the bathroom. I just walk to my room in my towel and dress in there. I walked out and said hello, no answer. I got ready then went into the kitchen, expecting to see my dad or someone. No, instead I say a load of food on the table. Haha. A church member walked in the house while I was showering! A little awkward. Oh well.
I talked to Angie today. She thinks I should apply for the job at the prison and if I don't get it then go for the job in California. I agree with her. I miss her and her family! It was great to hear here!
However, I did talk to the Health Administrator at the prison and he isn't sure when they will be able to hire someone. They aren't accepting applications either. Grr. I don't know what to do. He said that the government has approved them for 2 new medical staffs but that the prison is currently 5 people over what they should have. So they are over employed. Grr. I asked about a time frame and he said he honestly didn't know. I really would like to get on out there. They would be willing to work with a school schedule and everything! Full benefits! Can't beat that. Kind of upsetting though that they can't hire anyone until it gets approved to go over there employee quota.
I cut up a cucumber, put it in a jar with vinegar and stuck it in the fridge. I'm taking it to work in the AM. I work 11 hours tomorrow! Crazy!
My hands are dry. Stupid eczema flaring up!

Day 3 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of Joshua

I didn't got to the gym this morning. I went to work at 6:45am - 4:45pm. 10 hour shift. Not too bad. I did however go when I get off, around 6:30. I did 2 miles in 28 minutes and 30 seconds! Go me! I knocked off 1 min and 17 seconds. That made my night! I also did 25 sit ups.
I had a slimfast for breakfast. A lean cuisine pizza for lunch. 2 hard boiled eggs when I got home from work. I also had a cookie at Aunt Tracy's.
I have a dr appointment on Monday to check to see if I am hypoglycemic. Yay!

Day 2 of Challenge 2 - In the Name of JOSHUA!

I went to the gym after work today, around 9AM. I was there for a hour. I did 45 mins on the bike then 15 on weights. 45 straight minutes is kind of killer. At least for me it was. I did stop at 30 minutes to get a drink and stretch for about 3 minutes. Then got back on and finished the last 15 minutes. I did 150 reps on the tricep presses, in increments of 25. I would pause for about a minute then start back up again. 100 inner thigh work outs. 15 weight pull downs, 10 butterflies, 10 plee-as(for each leg), 25 ab curls (normal) and lastly 10 ab curls for each side. :) That was my day at the gym. I then came home and cleaned the bathroom. I mean really deep cleaned it. That was a workout in itself. I had a protein shake after cleaning the bathroom. I forgot to drink it when I got home. For lunch I had a slim fast, couple bites of scrambled eggs and half a piece of toast with strawberry jam on it. I snacked on carrots before dinner. And for dinner I had 2 hard boiled eggs. I did eat some zucchini bread (a few bites here and there) and 2 pieces of chocolate. Im craving sweets like crazy! Its been over a month since I had and I am craving Cocoa Puffs like a mad woman!
My sides and legs hurt like crazy! Ugh! I am such a wuss!
I watched this movie called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It was pretty awesome! These two guys go on an all fruit/veggie juice diet for 60 days. They lose so much weight and heal themselves of their illnesses. Pretty amazing. It makes me want a juicer!

Day 1 of Challenge 2

I weighed myself at the gym this morning. I lost 1.5lbs more since my "final weigh in" post. Woo hoo! I did 2 miles in 29mins and 47secs on the treadmill. Go me! I was happy. Haha. I also did 150 reps of tricep presses, 100 inner thigh work out, 10 (for each leg) plee-as, 10 butterflies, 15 weight pull downs,  10 ab curls (normal), 10 ab curls (for each side), I think thats it.
I had a protein shake after my work out for breakfast. A hot dog and ice cream for lunch. Nothing as of yet for dinner.
I made zucchini bread today. It came out VERY dry. Don't like it. Grrr. What a waste!
I also went swimming with the kids for my nieces and nephews bday party. It was fun. I am just so dang exhausted!

New and improved me - challenge 2!

So we all know I completed my first challenge; 30 lbs in 30 days. We also know that I didn't accomplish that goal. :( I did however lose 7.5 lbs in 4 weeks. I want to continue going to the gym but its a little hard for me. I don't have anything to work towards. No goal or challenge. I lack the motivation. I was talking to my friend Josh. I told him how I no longer had motivation. I am competitive so if I don't have a goal or challenge then Im not motivated, well unless money is involved. :)

This is the new challenge that Joshua gave to me. 7.5 lbs in 3 weeks instead of 4. Haha. Not too bad, but I'm definitely a little intimidated. It was hard enough to lose that amount in 4. I hope I can do it. We shall see. Same rules as las time. I will get on here and post what I did or didn't do and what I ate for the day. I will re-weigh myself tomorrow and make a note of it. I will also do measurements this time. I will get a tape measure tomorrow. I will tell you my measurements tomorrow. :) Or whenever I get the tape measurer. 

We know what I currently look like as well. I put my ending picture from my last challenge in my last post. :) So I will take another one in 3 weeks. Not too bad. :) I am quite excited for this challenge. Think I can do it!? I sure hope I can!

Nothing but pictures :)

These are the pictures from the Shakespeare Ghost town in Lordsburg, NM. I had to delete the ones with the clients in them. The random lady in them is my co worker. :) She asked for copies. I will make a disk sometime this week and give them to her. :) 

Me after losing 7.5 lbs. Go me! 

                                                                          Me and my oldest sister. :)