Super Sunday

Well, I skipped church today. Instead I went to a family re-union on my moms side. I went with my Aunt and Uncle, I do a ton with them. It was so much fun! I didn't remember hardly anyone there, except for my Grandma Good and a few uncles. I did remember my cousin Darlene Pacheco and her family whom I simply adore!

It was so much fun to see them! It put a HUGE smile on my face and I'm sure they were just as happy to see me. I invited them over for dinner at 5. I had the missionaries come over anyway so there was plenty of food to go around. Alas they didn't show till after dinner, which was okay too. At least they came, right!? Right! It was so much fun to have them here. We reminisced about the time when me and my parents drove to visit them in Ramona, CA. We stayed at their place and went to Universal Studios which was a TON of fun. We laughed about how scared I was when we went into the haunted mansion and how I held onto my cousins sweater and wouldn't let go for anything! Also, how the zombie there congratulated me on my sweater (longhorns baby!). It was so much fun! They invited me back out there for a visit. I said definitely! I will have to save some cash up and take a week off for vacation and just chill with them. I know I'll have a ton of fun!

I am so happy for my cousin Mike, Darlenes oldest! He graduates with his RN in October! How exciting is that?! I told him I'm trying to get back out to California and he said he know of some places that are hiring out in Ramona. Now its not Bakersfield or Shafter, which is where I want to be. But, at least it gets me in the right state!

I also had a ton of fun with my Aunt Tracy and Uncle Alton. Their boys came, so I had some more people to talk with and hang out with. I stayed near Aunt Tracy and her family. I love her boys, and it was great to hear that they like me a lot too. I always feel like they may not like me as much as I like them. I think they are just the best cousins ever! My Aunt and Uncle always tell me that I'm the daughter they never had. The spoil me with affection. I love them so much and am just so glad that I am able to get close with some of my family and always have somewhere to escape to (their house).

Well that was my WONDERFUL day today. I enjoyed the reunion, going to Aunt Tracys for strawberry shortcake, feeding the missionaries, and visiting with Darlene and her family. I do love Sundays, they are always my favorite days and the one day I ALWAYS look forward too. :)

Why does it hurt?

Why does it hurt when someone you cared about no longer cares for you? Why does only ONE person feel the pain and the other feel happiness and relief? Why couldn't I be the one to feel the happiness and relief?

I wish I never met you. I wish I never saw you. I wish you would just go away!

No one likes to be lied to, yet it happens every day. Wether it be a little white lie or a lie that will impact millions! We all lie, and if by any means there is someone out there that DOESN'T lie... Id like to meet him or her, shake their hand and give them a huge pat on the back. But it so happens that I highly doubt that such a person exists in this day and age. Back to what I was saying, lies hurt. Maybe not at the initial time its told, but in the end it always hurts. I find that the lies of a relationship hurt the most. The promises of a happy ending, false hope just pouring down on you like a rainstorm. Indeed, those lies hurt the most. Now that its over, how do I get past all these lies? How do I forgive not only the ones who hurt me, but also myself for being so naive. How am I to TRUST again?

Sincerely, yours truly, dearly...etc...

Me

My Resolve

Do you see me now? Can you hear me? Do you feel my presence around you? Do I still linger in your thoughts... I just want to be seen, I just want to be heard, I just want to be felt, I just want to be NOTICED.

I looked up "resolve" in the dictionary and out of all the definitions it listed these 2 were my favorite:

1.to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine(to do something)

2.firmness of purpose or intent; determination.

What exactly IS my resolve? My earnest and firm purpose is to be heard, to be seen as the individual I am. I am me, and I just want to be recognized as a person.

My plan is to change the way that I am. I am a good person, with past mistakes. I will not let these past mistakes define who I am and who I will become. I will not let one person change the course of my life, unless that one person is me. I will take action and change who I am, so that I can become a better person; a person someone will one day love and cherish.

My course of action is to become confident in who I am, in doing so I will learn to love myself and let others love me. I will be strong. I will be submissive. I will be MEAK. I will be ME.

My resolve is my family, friends, Heavenly Father ,Jesus Christ, the temple that I drive by everyday. My resolve is my happiness.

Sincerely, yours truly, dearly...etc..

Me